Hey Bug, my little Laila girl, the sweetness of life,

I’ve talked to your future-able-to-understand-grown-up-topics self this week, quite a lot, actually. So much going on these days- in the world of women and politics, and in my own life here in Oki with friendships and school politics. So much advice to give you so that you feel empowered and don’t make the same mistakes as your Nonna, and so that you never feel small and unheard.  Yes, these things are out of my control, but one day, I hope you realize that they are in your control, my sweet Bug.

Spending much of my alone here in my big white house with Asscat and Little B could mistakenly label me as cat lady, loser, middle aged boring, but don’t let my current state of UNactivity fool anyone.  I’m quite aware of my surroundings and myself.  My alone is pretty damn good, except for the missing my boys and girl and girl thing- I’ve grown to appreciate myself and my own company quite a bit as I navigate what I want to do, where I want to go from here. To quote UK immigrant poet Warsan Shire,

“My alone feels so good, I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude.”

How powerful those words make me feel. Never let your sense of self and worth be dictated to you by a man. or another woman. or anyone else other than yourself. (Check out her poetry and her life story. Just wow.) Do not be afraid to be alone. Solitude and loneliness, not quite the same, not always existing together– sometimes, yes, they live in the same house, but learn to embrace solitude as a time to learn about yourself. Know yourself.